B.B.O.

So today at church after sacrament Mike and I started heading to Gospel Doctrine class. Well , the class was FULL so we headed over to Gospel Essentials. As we walk in, I tell Mike not to sit on the front row. I hate sitting on the front row. So he chooses the back row. Which was totally fine. I was sitting right in front of the vent with my coat on, so the temperature was perfect. But then this gut wrenching, pungent, horrifying smell crept up my nostrils. I had no idea what it was. I kept looking at Mike and he looked just fine, so I thought he might've smelt it but wasn't reacting to be polite. I figured the smell would go away in a few minutes. But the minutes moved on and the smell stayed. Did a baby poop? Did someone puke and the smell remained? What was it?!?! IT WREAKED!! I had to know what it was. I had to. I leaned back a little to see if it was coming from the vent. It wasn't. I leaned over towards Mike to see if the smell was there. It wasn't. I sat back up, and gazed over my right shoulder. And sitting there reverently was a greasy old bag o' bones. With a purple blazer. Cue Seinfeld quote. "Oh, this isn’t even B.O.! This is beyond B.O.! It’s B.B.O.!" He was sitting there innocently, like he had no clue that I was about ready to wretch out my guts all over the floor and find some cotton balls to plug my nose with. HOW DID HE NOT KNOW HE SMELLED LIKE THAT? Well, I had to sit the rest of Gospel Essentials reverently, and act like nothing was going on. I kept running over what would I say to the teacher if I rushed out of the class? "Oh, its not your lesson, its the smelly man in the back." or "Sorry I'm leaving your class in such a rush, but I need to go to the ER to get my nostrils surgically removed". Luckily, I was able to control myself and sit the rest of the class. I just leaned over on Mike the whole time. If purple is the symbol of royalty. And if that man's blazer was representing his smell, then it did a royal good job. Well done, sir. Well done.